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Literary As F**k

Movies in my head ...

Published 1 day ago • 2 min read

I got an email from a reader named Dana the other day, asking a question about whether I “see” my stories in my head as I write them.

I wasn’t sure at first. It took some thinking. Because yes, I sort of see them … but not in the same way I saw this in my living room at the time:

I told Dana that it’s actually both ways for me. Which was intriguing, because I’d never thought about it before — and because it doesn’t make much sense that I could have two answers to the question that contradict one another.

Here’s what I replied:

I’m honestly not sure. I ACT as though I see scenes when I write them, but I don’t think it’s true that I literally see them the way I’d see a movie. It’s very hard to articulate. Because yes, there’s a sense in which I’d very much use the word “see.” I’ve even told others that “I write cinematically,” meaning that I tend to “watch” what’s going on in a scene, and writing it feels more like describing what happens than it feels like making anything up.
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In action scenes particularly, I just sort of watch a scene in my head to see where people go and what they do. BUT, I don’t actually see those scenes. Not the way I would with my eyes. It’s more fluid than that. It’s more like I know what’s happening in a “visual-adjacent” way, but wouldn’t tie it to a truly visual experience.
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Despite everything I just said, I’ve also been frustrated by trying to envision a memory or make a picture in my head and thought, “Dammit, I just can’t make pictures.” And yet, it’s still how I write.

And see: That answer surprises me, even though I’m the one who gave it, and even though I’m reporting on my own personal experience. Which is cool, if baffling.

Other "seeing vs. not seeing" bafflements include:

  • When Fat Vampire was first picked up to be made into the Reginald the Vampire TV show, people asked who I’d cast as Reginald if it were up to me: What did Reginald look like in my head? But I had no answer. A few people popcorned some ideas, but I could only say, “Yes, that person sounds right” or “No, that person isn’t right at all.” I couldn’t come up with anyone on my own.
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  • And when a friend suggested 3-D printing some of the “Rollard” weapons from Gore Point for me, I said that sounded great … except that I didn’t know what a Rollard looked like. Which was weird, because I’d described them a bunch of times in the books. How could I not know what they looked like? But I couldn’t.
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  • I have the same problem with maps and locations in a room. I usually have to draw myself a sketch to keep from contradicting myself. I remember that for Pretty Killer in particular, I had to draw the dining table and place everyone where they were sitting in the narrative. That "seating map" didn’t come naturally to me at all … and yet again, I’d still tell you that all I’m doing when I write is "watching a scene in my head and describing (or transcribing) what happens."

It’s weird. But also thought-provoking.

JT

P.S: By the way, this is formally your invitation to email me and ask any of your questions that might make good topics for these emails. I like when I’m prodded into different ways of thinking by real people, instead of just prodding myself (which requires stretching beforehand). Keep them coming! Maybe one of these days, I’ll be able to answer one sensibly.

Literary As F**k

Johnny B. Truant

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